The bastardisation of our language

I am sick and tired of people who seem intent on raping and bastardising our language. Now I know some of you might say "well, you can talk, you're diction could be better" and yes, you are right. However, I never, ever speak in pigeon English using words such as "sumfink" and "everyfink". I have unfortunately been asked to join a conference for something important that's coming in at work and there is a huge cross-section of staff from all different roles participating. All bar two or three are complete fucking know-it-alls or utter divs. So, I sat there all day today listening to these imbaciles utter crap which they know nothing about, every now and then slipping in "sumfink" and "everyfink". In true John Dorian style, I slipped into my own daydream where i leapt out of my seat shouting "stop! Shut up, shut up, shut up, you bloody fools. 'Something' has a 'g' at the end, as does 'everything', not a fucking 'k'. Learn to speak your own sodding language or do not speak at all! Oh, and stop turning the end of every fucking sentence up with that irritating inflection". Then I came back into the room. There were still hours to go before I could leave. I drifted back into a haze until the man running the seminar eventually said "OK, that's it for today" and I was out of the door like a shot. Nobody else had made it out of their seats that quickly. The poor sod in charge thought I was coming over to speak to him about one of the points they had been discussing and looked at me inquiringly. I looked back and said "see you then". I trotted down the stairs pleased to be out. My new found sanguine disposition abruptly left me as I realised I had another two more days of it starting from tomorrow. Shit.